what was i thinking?!

So,

I know i'm working a ton, which equals a lot of money... but i'mw orking a ton. i don't feel like i'm enjoying my summer like i should. yes i'm proud of myself for working hard and everything, but i wish i could do whatever i wanted, whenever i wanted! ug. so much happening this week that i DO get to partake in though... bluehole, soccer game, date night, nyc. i'm excited about this week for sure. i wish i could do some laying around and doing nothing. lucky for me though, i love the peeps that i work with. they're incredibly insane, and that's the way i prefer it. if they weren't, they'd be boring, that's for damn sure. i've realized that i need to invest in a new pair of shoes. i've learned that bad shoes are worse support than no shoes at all. ug. i think we should be able to walk around without any shoes. and, i think we should take it even farther and walk around naked! we were born naked, so why shouldn't we be naked? i mean really. there are a lot of really great things that could come from being naked constantly. people would probably be more along the lines of what they prefer their body type to be. right? i know i would. if i knew everyone were constantly seeing me naked, i'd want what they see to be preferable. isn't that what we do when we dress ourselves? not only do we want to look good for ourselves, but we want other people to approve of what they see! it's the hard truth of human nature. even if you get a stubborn person who "doesn't care what others think" if the other people approve, it makes that one person feel even better about what he or she is doing... right? i mean, if i'm wrong just tell me. i know i'm someone who loves others approval. a lot of the time i hope people approve and become slightly saddened whenever people dissaprove. sometimes it should matter what others think, and other times it shouldn't. you just have to differentiate between what should and shouldn't matter. i think that's something people should definitely take into consideration. be proud of who you are. embrace who other people are. stop being so judgmental. obviously it's in our tendancies to judge the people we come in contact with. but, if we train ourselves to get to know who a person is before we see what their wearing or what their image is, maybe we could become a better place. i'm not perfect when it comes to judging people. i have a tendancy to be like, "ew. gooooo away." but, i feel like i definitely don't do it as often as most people. it makes you a better person when you try to understand who other people are. it even makes you consider what kind of person you are. i believe it's not until you see others' differences that you really begin to think about what you do and do not agree with, making you understand who you are. have you ever heard someone say, "wow, i really didn't know what kind of person i was!" i think this is a realization a lot of people come to whenever they get to know other people who are different and think differently... i know, on my journey in life, i have come to learn that i'm not someone i thought i was or could be, and i like the person i've discovered even more than what i thought i would. i know this is a super long post, but i've got a lot on my mind...

i also believe it is incredibly sad when people hate their lives. you can tell when people do becuase of the way they walk or the way they talk or the way they wear their normal facial expression. my heart honestly goes out for people who are in need of happiness. i believe all it takes is a different way of looking at life, and it could be so much better. something people need to realize is the mistakes that are made in life cannot be undone and thinking about them constantly will not make things better. it's only what you plan to do to change your situation that can make you happy. ONLY YOU CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY. sure, there are people that you enjoy being around and it's heart warming when someone gets you a gift out of the blue, even if it's little, but that's just a short burst of happiness. what will you do when you're by yourself? you must better yourself. noone else can do it for you. you can use someone for your utility, but they can only help a little bit. it's what you do with your life that will decide your happiness... enjoy the life you have and stop waisting time wishing you had something else. do soemthing aboutit! that's what i hope to do. i love my life and i know there are so many things i can do, and i am going to do, to make it even better. i love my friends, i love my family, i love my jobs, i love that i can laugh every day. i've noticed that even if something tragic has happened that most people would sulk all day long about, i am the kind of person who cannot help but find the light in the dark. even when i'm arguing with someone, i'm able to turn around and laugh with or smile with that person. that's just the kind of person i am. i hate being unhappy, and i hate watching other people who are unhappy. those who are able to smile through dark times, i admire. those who complain constantly about their unfortunes drive me insane. especially those who don't do anything about it. and especially those who don't stop them from happeneing. do you know what kind of people i'm talking about?
i went to jamaica when iw as younger. those people had no money and hardly any possessions. but, they were the happiest people i've ever met in my entire life. i envy people who can smile through anything. even i have a hard time sometimes. but, anywho, i'm at work, so i shouldn't be rambling so much. i hope everyone enjoys this post. something to think about. see ya!

torn

Like most, i'm trying to figure out my future... it's so hard to choose between staying for loved ones and leaving for great job opportunities. do i stay and develop new possiblities to enjoy the company of those around me, or do i pursue something new and different and scary and exciting? it's hard to decide. i know some people need me, and i know others would love to see me reach new and higher places. i have a feeling some day i will be a great influence on those around me, and i want to be able to have as many opportunities open to myself in order to do so. it's so weird thinking about moving and starting a "new" life. how do you decide where the line is drawn when your life starts a new chapter? looking back in my life i can see the differentiations between those chapters, but as they're happening, it's hard to tell. maybe this will come very easily, but my number one goal in life is happiness, as should everyone's. without happiness, what's there to live for?

oh yes. some switz fellos are staying with us at the hotel. they're quite entertaining and like to teach me their version of german. i love my job!

and another thing. i saw the movie Thor last night. it was spectacular! i'm glad i took the time to see it. it made me wish shit like that actually happened. don't waist your time going to see it in 3d though, only the credits and the tornado jump out at you, and that's it.... i didn't realize the movie lacked 3d until the 3d happened. haha. but, overall, the movie was great. not once did i think, "when is it going to end?"

hopefully this week flies by; i'm going to NYC friday! i'm so excited :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

i think i figured it out

so, i know it's been forever since i've been on this here blog site thingy, but i haven't really had, or made the time to get on! now, working at my new job, i have some free tiem. hopefully i'll be able to keep up more! summer is awesome so far. i actually get to partake in adventures with everyone, and that makes me super happy. the only downfall is working all the time and looking out the window to the beautiful weather. hopefully, this weekend will be sunny when i go to NY!!! i'm pretty excited about that, since it's been many planned weekends, and not so many goings. i'm pretty sure summer = tapeworm though... at least i hope i have a tapeworm! my consumption of food has increased dramatically... weird. anywho. i have so much i want to accomplish this summer. hiking, blue hole, tanning, white water rafting, house hunting. so very much! hopefully that will happen. also, more creativity and building things. i really want to build shelves. is that weird? maybe. but, that's ok. anywho. i'm at work, so maybe i should find some work related things to do. mwuah!

It has come to my attention...

It seems to me, we are always trying to find other people to bring out the good in ourselves. Even I am a culprit to such acts. In order for us, men and women, to truly be awesome, we must learn to bring out the goodness in ourselves BY OURSELVES. We shouldn't rely on anyone else, we shouldn't worry about what others think. We should be the best person we can be without the guidance of others. Only then, can we truly find the goodness in other people, when we are ones with ourselves...

This is my guidance for the time being. NOTTE ZINGARELLAS!

What a beautiful day

On a beautiful day like this, I want to go hiking, or play in a park, or walk around downtown, or sit under a shady tree and read a book... But, instead, I am still playing catch up to the mountains of homework that I have acquired over the past couple of weeks. The only thing getting me through this is the fact that there are only THREE MORE WEEKS left until the semester ends (this includes final's week). Alas, even this is a hard motivator. All I want my days to consist of, at this point, is turbo fire and fun (and maybe work so I can have fun). It's disappointing to realize that I am supposed to be graduating in three weeks, but I guess that's something I am just going to have to get over. Anyways. I guess this sulking is not helping with my motivation for getting things done and doing them well. I will be off for now. VON BOYAGE ALL!!!

if i had it my way

if i had it my way, i would not be going to school right now. i HATE school with a passion. i enjoy all the reading i have to do for my classes and i love some of the lessons i learn, but i hate writing papers and having to have a deadline to do things in. it would be different if it were my job and i didn't have hours and hours of extra time outside of class to do things... not to mention it would be more motivating if i got paid to do this crap. the fact that i look more forward to going to work instead of going to school is sort of sad... although, i do have a pretty sweet crew at the ol' FP. i don't know. i have two more papers to write and a test to study for (which my professor changed from multiple choice to essay based because of all the time i've been missing from school.... like it's my fault) all by friday. it's driving me absolutely insane all this work i've been having to put in in such a little amount of time. not to mention i haven't done the regular readings for my classes. ug. anywho, i guess i better get off here. i don't have quite as much time as i would like because i get to go to work tonight (which i'm actually excited about) YAY MONEY! haha. PEACE!

Why do the gods hate me?!

So, I woke up this morning, and knew immediately something was wrong... I couldn't open my eye. F.IN A MAN! i cannot catch a break. my body hates me. i have pink eye... which means, i cannot go to work or classes until it's better... which means, 2 weeks off of these things = hell. i just cannot catch my breath with sickness and bad things chasing after me. give me a break, please! the semester is almost over, and i need to concentrate!!! oy. anywho, i'm off to do an ass load of homework!!!!